USB-C IS A NIGHTMARE CURSE!! SHITTY OVERENGINEERED GARBAGE!!
50 PINS FOR WHAT?? BREAKS IF YOU BREATHE ON IT!! CABLES COST MORE THAN MY CAR!!
"UNIVERSAL" MY ASS - EVERY PHONE DEMANDS ITS OWN SPECIAL CULT CABLE!!
OLD CHARGERS WERE INDESTRUCTIBLE - NOW I’M A SLAVE TO FRAGILE TECH TRASH!!
YOUTH ARE ZOMBIES!! BILL GATES 5G MICROSOFT GOOGLE ANDROID BRAIN MELT!!
TIK TOK SNAPSTERAGRAM INSTAFACEBOOK - MIND CONTROL BEAMED FROM SPACE!!
KIDS STUMBLE INTO TRAFFIC - EYES GLUED TO SCREENS!! NO THOUGHTS LEFT!!
ELON’S SATELLITES + ZUCKERBERG’S ALGORITHMS = TOTAL BRAIN ROT DOMINATION!!
BATTERIES ARE A SICK JOKE!! 20 YEARS AGO MY PHONE LIVED FOR A MONTH!!
NOW IT DIES IN 4 HOURS - CHARGES SLOWER THAN A DEAD SNAIL!! 18 HOURS FOR 10%!!
THEY SABOTAGED BATTERIES!! BIG TECH WANTS YOU PLUGGED IN FOREVER!!
MY OLD NOKIA LAUGHS FROM THE GRAVE - MODERN PHONES ARE POWER VAMPIRES!!
I’M OFF GRID!! SOLAR USB REGULATOR EXPLODED - PHONE SUCKED IT DRY!!
CAR CHARGING?? FUSES BLEW - SMOKE EVERYWHERE - $200 TO FIX THE ALTERNATOR!!
NOW I CRANK A GENERATOR LIKE A MADMAN!! JUST FOR THIS PHONE!!
DESKTOP + FRIDGE + STARLINK RUN ON SOLAR FINE - PHONE NEEDS A COAL PLANT!!
INSANE POWER HOG!! THEY DID THIS ON PURPOSE!! WAKE UP!!
CRAPWARE OS!! PROPRIETARY JAIL CELL!! I CAN’T EVEN OPEN THE HOOD!!
"SIDELOADING" - WHAT IDIOT WORD IS THAT?? IT’S JUST SOFTWARE YOU FOOLS!!
APPLE GOOGLE LOCK US OUT - TREAT US LIKE BRAINDEAD SHEEP!!
UPDATES BRICK YOUR PHONE - FORCED OBSOLESCENCE BY THE TECH MAFIA!!
SCREENS FLICKER TO HYPNOTIZE YOU!! 5G TOWERS COOK YOUR ORGANS!!
CAMERAS SPY 24/7 - AI STEALS YOUR SOUL THROUGH THE LENS!!
PHONE HEATS UP LIKE A TOASTER - BURNS MY HAND - RADIATION POISONING!!
THEY KILLED REAL BUTTONS!! TOUCHSCREENS FAIL IN RAIN - PLANNED FAILURE!!
SMARTPHONES ARE THE APOCALYPSE!! SHEEPLE OBEY THE TECH GODS!!
THROW IT IN THE RIVER!! LIVE FREE OR DIE SLAVE!! TIME CUBE WARNED US!!